- 9:52 PM

It's been a long time since I have been here and it's an even longer time since anyone posted. I doubt anyone still visits here, but if you do, HELLO.

So here goes. It's the end of our 4years together in NYCO XYZ. We'll have to admit that we're all so different, sometimes so different that it is the differences that keeps us together. Okay. It was supposed to make me sound smart, but actually I don't exactly know what logic was I working on that line. HEHE. I hope your 4years had been as eventful as mine, because I sure did experience and learnt a whole lot. This is my first time picking up an instrument, my first time playing in an orchestra, my first time having batchmates whom I can proudly call my BATCHMATES/ SECTION MATES. It is my first, and HIGHLY probably my last. Forget the awful horrible times and moments we had to endure. Forget the not-so-nice people whom we had to deal with. There are still blissful moments that I will miss.

I wont do a personal message thing here to each of you because... it wouldn't be PERSONAL anymore if the whole world can access it. Huixian, Tianyuan, Xinling, Zona, Yonghui, Sam and Cheryl, each of you have a special place in my heart and I will definitely miss you all. All the best to the coming years. We'll meet somewhere down the road again, RIGHT? =x YOU WILL HAVE TO SAY RIGHT! =D

Sam and Cheryl, all the best for O's. ALL THE WAY. I'm here to support you!
To the rest of us, we'll see each other over there. REMEMBER TO SAY HI OKAY! JIAYOU!

Will we meet again? I hope we will...

- 1:55 AM

Hey all! I edited the picture from the original xyz picture since I have not received the xyz ones!

Love <3 (Click on the picture to get the actual size!)

P.S. I did this because I am too tired to do Chem SIA so I played around with pictures. HEHEHE

- 11:11 PM

Someone else blog too. I know Sam and Zona cant blog. What about Yonggi, TY, HX, XL and Cheryl? It feels so wrong when I am the only one blogging.

Darn. This emptiness is killing me. Just thinking about tmr makes me miserable. I will be back home at 3+ and I will be facing work, work and work. It reminds me of last year pre EOY period. The long lazy afternoons trying to stay awake and study.

I shall go running tmr afternoon with my sis.

Darn. Now I miss CO. Yes yes. I do miss CO. Is it Pui Ian talking. Yes, it's Pui Ian talking.

I will go entertain myself with doing International Friendship Day dolly and DO MATH again.

EMPTINESS.

- 10:18 PM

I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT THIS HAPPY IN MY 3+ YEARS IN NYCO AND XYZ. Not even in Sec1 when I was so IN LOVE with CO (I seriously wrote NYCO XYZ on pieces of paper during boring lessons) and so crazy in admiration of some seniors, I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS HAPPINESS before.

A few weeks ago, I said that what matters was to end off our years in NYCO well. No matter what has happened in the past, all the mental and emotional scars we are left with, WE DID END IT SO WELL. There’s nothing much we can ask for.
We have proven that we are not that lousy (as how we have felt since Sec1). We have no matter what lead our juniors and played our best and as part of NYCO, achieved GOLD with HONOURS. Half of us had no experience in SYF before, but I think most of our minds were crystal clear and we know very well how we should be leading our juniors and working towards music excellence. GOLD WITH HONOURS! It does not matter that almost ALL of us had no music background, because as proven, it’s the attitude that matters. It’s the mindset that gets us to where we want to achieve.

It’s probably going to be REALLY soon that we will officially be out of CO. We don’t even know if today was our last performance in our shiny BLUE uniform. I WILL MISS MY OVERSIZED BLOUSE AND SUPER LONG DRESS. This sounds MAD for someone who dreaded CO (especially Sec3). The moment I became a Sec4, suddenly, it just came naturally to me that WE do play an important role in CO and how we are will influence the juniors, and determine the future generations of NYCO spirit.

Juniors, especially Sec2s, in 2009 SYF, you are going to be the Sec4s (just like us now!). I hope that you did learn something from this experience and KNOW the importance to work and see CO as your priority at such crucial times. There’s no one there to tell you that “YOU SHOULD STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOMEWORK AND FOCUS ON CO FOR NOW TILL SYF BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF THE 81 MEMBER TEAM!” How hard your juniors will work and how their attitude will be like is determined by your own attitude, enthusiasm and leadership. ALL THE BEST for the coming 2 years!

Sec3s, you are the batch whom we have watched you grow and change. Next year will be concert year, and it will be an equally important year! How 2009 CO will be like will be determined by how CO works together next year! You are going to be the ones who nurture the Sec2s’07 who will become the Sec4s in 2009. Concert is not something that is just for fun, it’s about creating good music, enjoying the company of each other and just makes CO shine even more! DO YOUR BEST AND TREASURE YOUR LAST YEAR TOGETHER IN NYCO AND XYZ!

Juniors, sorry if you all were SO tired when we drilled you all and just get frustrated very easily. However, all that worry, all that mornings, lunches and after school practices, all the anger (towards us – I know some of you seriously _______ us) it’s all worth it right? If it isn’t, why would WE SENIORS work so hard and worry our days and nights away over this?

From the moment of when the speaker comes out to talk a lot, and your heart simply goes thumping faster and faster with every single sentence that he says, till you cry out of nervousness. Right up to the point when 编号 8. 南洋女子中学校. GOLD WITH HONOURS! The tears that were out of nervousness momentarily changes into tears of unspeakable joy!

My fellow Sec4s, it is all coming to an end. Thank you for all the wonderful times, and making all things end well. All the tears (that many of us shed quietly – like maybe halfway through lessons) are all for the happiness that will live in us forever! All the best in everything else! SEC4’S 07 XYZ!

Thank you all in NYCO from performers, to backstage helpers, to instructors, to MRS EE, to seniors of generations and generations for all the work and effort and time. We can do it, and we did it! GOLD WITH HONOURS! REST WELL! Make up for all the lost sleep =)

P.S. For list of people I would like to THANK personally, visit my space.

<3 Pui Ian

- 9:59 PM

it IS worth it.
the morning pracs, lunch pracs, xiaozus and official/unofficial dazus are ALL worth it.
the sweat and tears.. are ALL worth it.
YES WE FINALLY DID IT!
great job everyone!
the NYCO spirit!! :)

i think we're all very exhausted.
rest well people, you've deserved it.

and thank you so much to the people who gave us encouragements!! thank you!

- 11:18 AM

What we wanted to say had been said. Whether it went into their ears, into their hearts, minds and souls are not within our control. If we had not moved them, had not knocked some sense into them, it's either our speech-making skills are bad or they are just beyond hope, which I hope they are not.

The importance now is to do what we had said. I believe in leading by example. Saying is always easier than done.

If we said to bring home your gaohus/ zhonghus/ erhus to PRACTICE, do jolly well do so! Practice it well and wisely. Do all the expressions and MOVE.
If we said that ALL practices including LUNCH PRACS are COMPLUSORY, it applies to ALL including you and me!
If we said to inform Yh PERSONALLY if you can't make it, it applies to ALL of us too!
If we said the latest time you can report for LUNCH PRACS is 12.30p.m., we are NO DIFFERENT.

Our last public performance (not confirmed about 90th Anniversary) is over. It ended off with literally the worst note, the worst ending ever. What's done has been done. All we can is learn from our mistake and move on. JUST DON'T REPEAT WHAT HAS BEEN DONE.

If Mrs Ee says not to JIANKUAI at this certain part, MAKE SURE WE DON'T. It's tiring and frustrating for her. Don't you get frustrated too!!?? Don't you feel a tinge of GUILT?

I know sometimes it's hard. It's hard for me too. JUST TRY AND LISTEN?!

- 11:34 PM

hey
during this crucial time, i really hope that we can be bonded, we do need the support from everyone in xianyue. however, even without syf, we still should be united as a section.
if there were any misunderstandings in the past, it is all over.
we may have had different opinions, but we already tried our best to voice them out and to clear things. we did not bottle our feelings, though sometimes it is hard to bring things up. we couldnt do anything if things dont turn better. we did share how we felt.. i'm really sorry if we have been appearing distant to you all. we never deliberately kept to ourselves, and we are sad too when you all do not join us as a batch. all of us felt like we were the ones being left out, so we did not understand each other. very sorry that we didnt realise we gave you all such a feeling.. we didnt do it on purpose.. we were just talking per normal.. but even if we had dicussed things amongst ourselves we did try to communicate to you all.. but we also thought you all just wanted to be alone sometimes so we didnt bother you all.. i think it is just because of what we play, thats why we just tend to be together, and tend to voice opinions to one another. it is not that we do not share anything with you all! we were not hiding anything! we do not dislike anybody in our batch. it is just sometimes we feel differently about how you all are doing things..

can we try to understand one another? this is the time when we need each other's support..

- 6:28 PM

This blog has been stagnant since ... I think no one particularly likes posting here because if is probably viewed by both seniors and juniors who come by. However, I think now is the time for someone to say something, or we will be doomed.

Yes, it's probably too strong a word to use, but let's face it! If we don't do anything now, we are doomed. In fact, we can't just be doing anything, we have to do A LOT OF SPECIFIC THINGS.

I don't know if it is right for me to be saying all this. I don't feel right to be the one saying it, but since no one had said it, and I don't know if anyone is going to say anything, and there's no time for us to wait any longer, I will just say what I feel as a sec4 regardless of what seniors/juniors/batchmates/people may think who I am.

Yes... as a sec4.

Now that it has dawned upon me and probably some of us that the time we are left with in NY is only months. The time left in CO is definitely lesser. I admit I had not been the best member, with the best attitude since sec2. As I think back now, I feel as if part of me was angsty, but undeniably, there were some basis and fact that change me to become what I was. I was determined that I hated CO and that I will not join CO again (I still hold true to the second point though). Somehow, when you become the oldest, I find that I was childish and weak.

I do regret not being the role model for the juniors. I do regret that if I had stay strong, we would still have the competitiveness between us (It was to me not the most positive thing though). We would not have lost faith and completely lost passion.

It's probably why juniors don't view us as seniors unlike how we did.

Hey guys, I think some of us have always had this inferiority complex within us. I don't have to deny it myself that even up till this point, I do still feel inferior many a times. It probably explains why I do not feel right saying all this. Right now, many thoughts are flying through my head, wondering what people reading this will be thinking...

Maybe the juniors not viewing us as seniors is something we had asked for. I personally had not been very much bothered to be the senior guiding juniors. I was... heck-care. I only enjoyed the the company of you people, especially my erhu mates (Do not view me as being biased cos ultimately, it is undeniable we play the same thing and sit together). We had done this for a long enough time. It's time for us to take the intiative and do something, regardless of how seniors/ juniors view us.

When we first came in, quite a few of us started with NO musical background and MOST of us have not touched an erhu before. The fact that we had made it here today is something we should be proud of right? The experience may not have been that pleasant, but it's now time for us to make sure we end it pleasantly. Our experiences may have been different, but that isn't an excuse for us to not make it end well.

We have no one to tell us what to do now, and I think we do not want to be told so. Let's show ourselves worthy and show the world out there that the sec4'07 xyz batch isn't just a mere group of nothing.

We may not be as outstanding as compared to our seniors, but what we can at least aim for is to have an outstanding attitude from now on.

To my batchmates:
Like I said, what we went through is the past. The least we can do is make it all end well. A good ending would make up for all that in past right? We may not be enjoying what we are doing, but I'm sure all of us stil want to do well in what we are doing. I wouldn't want to graduate, leaving CO without a GWH. I think none of you would want that to happen too right?
Erhus: We will help each other and do what we can. Even when people don't move, we will move. When others move, we will move along too.
Gaohus and Zhonghus: You were granted a place in syf without being auditioned I think. Do treasure this special treatment and prac with us. Show us that we all worthy and do what we are supposed to.

To my juniors:
I don't know how you think of me. I don't know how you think of us. It's too late to know and that doesn't matter.
If you think it is rightfully yours that you are in SYF, then do know that it is rightfully your duty to put effort into it. It isn't the most pleasant thing to keep hearing 'walao' whenever there's pracs.
If you do want GWH, work for it. It's part of your duty too.

Yes. CCA is going to take up so much time. We would have problems struggling with everything. I wouldn't mind coming because I know we need it. However, I would not want to attend useless, ineffective sectionals and it is up to each and individual to make sure the sectionals are not useless and ineffective. If only leaders truely become leaders and command our respect and attention and show by example, and members work and cooperate, I do want to believe that within these 3 short weeks (not counting the camp week) a miracle can happen. We will create this miracle if we want to.

There are too many thoughts in my mind now, which explains for this inchorerent post. If you get me, good =) If you don't (and probably think I am putting up a show), then you do not know me at all and you don't seem to know that people grow and change.

we're 16 this year and we're sec4~
full fledged seniors include:
cheryl ang
chua xinling
ke tianyuan
qiu yonghui
samantha sim
tay huixian
tong pui ian
zona goh

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